Archive for June, 2009

Panera is like Crack!

June 26th, 2009

Panera Bread

Well, I think the title says it all.  But if you really need a full blog post about it…here it goes.

Up until a year ago I didn’t know what Panera was.  I thought they made bread.  I mean, that’s what the sign says, Panera Bread.  It wasn’t until I asked a co worker what to get for lunch one day that they suggested Panera.  I was like, “Don’t the just make bread?”  They laughed at me.  Apparently, I didn’t know.  So they told me to go and check it out.

Panera CounterNow, thing about me is, I get intimidated by new places.  I don’t know why, I just get all nervous and flustered and don’t know what to do.  So I walk into Panera, and Whoa…the place is big.  There’s baked goods over here, sandwiches over there…and lots of counter space.  I had NO idea where to order!!  After a few minutes of standing there like an idiot, I got flustered and walked out.  So much for having Panera for lunch.  I didn’t go back for weeks.

Then two of my friends came over, and they showed me the way.  Well, really, just one of them, because my other friend is just as anti-new places as I am.  So we go to a different Panera…and like an angel from heaven, there’s a sign…Order Here.  I can’t tell you how that made my day.  So we ordered up some food, got it to go.  We got it home, set it up, and BLAM-O!  I was hooked.  I didn’t truly understand life before Panera…but now all the intricacies of the world all became clear to me.  With each bite of my sandwich and delicious Greek salad, I became more self-aware, more aware of the world around me…it was like I was seeing everything in HD for the first time.  It was…bliss.

Panera FrontAnd so, one year later…I find myself craving Panera more often than not.  I don’t know WHAT they put in that food, but man on man is it awesome.  The other day I even parked illegally because the parking lot was full and I needed my Panera!  Don’t try to stop a man from his food…a dangerous thing to do.  My favorite combo is the 1/2 Greek salad with a 1/2 chicken chipotle sandwich….usually with the Baked Lays, sometimes with the apple.  No matter what I get, I always get the Greek salad…I could eat that day in and day out…maybe that’s why I have these blood pressure problems..

So, my suggestion to you…get Panera…get addicted…get ready for a mind-blow experience!

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Cry baby…

June 15th, 2009

So I just back from my honeymoon last week and our flight home was a nice segue back into reality.  We had flown to our destination first class and were treated like royalty the entire duration of our stay… we could not have asked for better weather, food, drinks, or company.  What better way to equip for the stressers of work the next day than the most obnoxious flight home…

Lets begin with the woman sitting next to me…. her and her husband (6 foot 5 inches, 500 lbs about) had wanted to sit in first class but the airline “messed up” and they were now seated in coach.  Her husband in row 5 and her at the window seat next to me… although not as big as her husband, she was also not a small woman.  As her ass took up residence on half of my seat, I wondered how miserable and disgruntled she would be during the flight.  After exchanging some nasty words with the flight attendant, I didn’t think she was too bad…. fairly pleasant considering the circumstances.  Until it was time to deboard the plane… then she actually shoved me out of the seating area and into the aisle in an attempt to rush off the plane… unfortunately for her… there were still about 15 rows of people in front of us still waiting.  I was a little annoyed…. but… this was nothing compared to the family sitting in front of us…

Family of 4… Mom and Dad, daughters age 3 and 1…. daughter age 3 watching a DVD very loudly with no headset… it was no mystery that she was watching Sesame Street… I could hear Bert and Ernie and that damn Count droning on and on…. One—ah-ah-ah, Two—ah-ah-ah….. Meanwhile, daughter age 1 is crying… she has been crying since the moment they got on the plane and to my despair will cry until the minute we land.  About half way through the flight, 3 year old daughter starts to cry… Mommy decides that laughter is better than tears so to incite some laughter starts to tickle her daughter leading to the desired laughter… however this is that loud shrieking high pitched laughter that one emits when being tickled….

Now, pretend that you are on this plane for a minute…. the flight is 3 1/2 hours long…

When we landed, I was so happy to be home, I almost kissed the ground…. Parents, please drug your children before bringing them on plane rides if you know that they will be disruptive…. I love kids, but there is always a line somewhere…

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Call the Landlord!

June 5th, 2009

Back in November I became a first-time home owner.  Thanks to the National Association of REALTORS®,  I bought into the hype that “It’s a Good Time to Buy.”  Sure, it’s only a condo, but it’s all mine and I get to do what I want with it.  Well, to the inside…although, I can’t knock down walls, or my upstairs neighbors might fall through the ceiling.  And I can get new windows…but only a certain type.  But I foiled their rules about outside changes and got myself a doormat.  Yeah!  Take that!

houseinhands

Being a new homeowner means that I’ve had a lot of work to do.  When I moved in, all the walls were one generic color.  The carpet in the bedroom, while newer, was an ugly shade of blue.  There was an accordion door on the closet.  And the light fixtures, well…lets just say I didn’t want my kitchen looking like a high school cafeteria.  And the utility closet…just…nasty.

And so, with the help of a small army of friends, I went to work.  Got new carpet installed.  Removed the accordion door.  Painted every room.  Threw out the nasty stuff in the utility closet.  Put in new shelves in various places. Put up stuff on the walls.  Replaced all the outlets, switches, and light fixtures…well, I didn’t…I actually just watched (thanks Jones)…but I went to home depot to buy the stuff!   Cleaned all over the place. 

What I DO miss about being a renter though is having a landlord.  Toilet not working?  Call the landlord.  Squirrel in the attic?  Call the landlord.  Drippy faucet?  Call the landlord.  The landlord was good for so many things…but guess what?  Now I’m the landlord…I gotta call myself.  It’s kinda like at work when I run into a problem and the solution the help manual give is “Call your Network Administrator”…but that’s me!!!

So now I face the problem of having my entire shower re-tiled and 2 walls replace due to water damage and mold.  One day water just started pouring out of my wall every time I turned the shower on…like a mysterious waterfall.  Turns out the pipe was messed up.  Hey landlord, call a plumber!  Oh wait, that’s me…darn!  And so I must call the plumber, insurance company, must get quotes, must schedule contractors…must do it all.  But hey, that’s what I signed up for.  I’m a “homeowner” now…me and my 1%, the bank and it’s 99%.   I think I should be able to call the bank and have them come do the work…they own most of it anyway.

I wanna hear your homeowner horror stories, and how you made the decision to jump from renter to buyer!  Or are you really a landlord with some great tenant stories? Share below!

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Posted in Life, Living in NJ

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