Archive for the ‘What I Wish’ category

Crazy Nazi Zombie Aliens…and the People Who Love Them

February 27th, 2009

Last night I had a dream…

I am locked in a school cafeteria with a group of people.  We keep checking the windows and doors because something is coming.  And then we see it…Crazy Nazi Zombies…and they are out to get us.  Immediately I go into action mode, karate kicking and chopping and beating up Nazi Zombies like there’s not tomorrow.  I am the General Patton of Nazi Zombie beating.  Finally…they’re all defeated.  But just as we’re getting ready to leave…boom…more Nazi Zombies, but this time they talk and know how to use weapons.  They immediately kill one of friends (sorry Jones), so I do this super jump up to the ceiling where I use my acrobatic Jackie Chan skills to fling myself from pipe to pipe to escape.  I reach the roof, where I see someone across the street has broken into an armory, and starts mowin down zombies with machine guns.  Awesome, we’re saved.  So we’re trying to deal with this post-zombie world, when all of the sudden…Aliens!   They’re shooting us with lazers from thier space ship, so I tell everyone not to move so they can’t see us (Everyone knows Aliens eye sight is motion sensitive…duh!).   I jump up on a wall, and in true David and Goliath style I fling a rock at them…and their ship crashes!  The world is on it’s way to being saved…so me and my Dad strap on some hunting gear and get to work…

- Fin -

So, as you can tell, I am one of those people who has amazingly vivid dreams, and I more often than not remember them and share them with people who then think I’m crazy.   I love dreams; and luckily, since sleeping is one of my favorite hobbies, I have a lot of them.

Dreams are the one place where you can be whoever you want, do whatever you want, go wherever you want.  You can be a superhero and save lives…and if you’re into it (rice cakes), you can even wear the blue and red tights.  You can see the great pyramids, visit the land down under (Australia, not South Jersey…who would wanna go there?), ski the Alps, hang out in Atlantis.  Fight crime, date that girl you’ve always wanted to, fly through the sky, levitate things (one of my favorites), or, in unfortunate cases, show up to work in nothing but your underwear…oh wait, that wasn’t a dream…

Anyway, my advice to all of you: sleep more, dream more, imagine more.  You’ll never know where your mind might take you next.  Just make sure you wear pants to work.

- Just Call Me Lungs

My blog V-card

February 18th, 2009

Well here it is…my blog virginity, gone. It’s yours, take it. It’s a big moment for me that only comes once and I wanted it to be perfect…I guess this is it. This cake idea has come out of the gates faster than I ever imagined and if you’re reading and I don’t know you then it’s successful thus far. It’s your cake now, take some and come back for more…yea, I’m easy like that.

You see, I was hesitant to start blogging because while I’m still young (20-something) I do remember a day when SPAM was just canned meat and girls kept diaries which boys were not allowed to read, or have, unless they REALLY wanted to get made fun of. Some dudes in those days tried to have a “journal”, but Journal =’d Diary (nice try losers).

I can’t say that anymore. Diary = Journal = Blog these days and much like opinions, everyone has one. Here is mine. Like my own little piece of the pie but sweeter – cause it’s cake. While I’m at it I can also share with you my non-canned SPAM, which comes in the form of emails offering prescription drugs without the prescription at street-pharmacist prices, offers to improve the size and reliability of my muscle(s), and repeated opportunities to help the royalty of a foreign nation launder money through my bank account to evade taxes for a small phenomenal fee paid to me that would probably cost them more than if they just paid the damn taxes. I almost don’t categorize these particular emails as spam because judging by their horrific grammar and spelling I can tell they definitely aren’t from an English speaking territory, but being the patriot I am I politely decline to assist.

I guess what I’m trying to say that if it weren’t for the World Wide Web, SPAM would be meat and this would be a diary, but I don’t have a diary. I have a blog. It’s different. No really, it is…

 

You can call me Banks (because I’m so money. No jk, but props to you if you do get the name reference). I’ll be back soon and frequently. Hope you’re hungry for cake…

 

-Banks