Hi, My name is Banks…

April 1st, 2009 by Banks 3 comments »

And im a Dunkin-Donuts-aholic.
*HI BANKS!*

I should specify…im not big on donuts, bagels, breakfast sandwiches or any beverages that begin with cappa/frappa or end in latte. I’m just straight up in love with their coffee. To call myself a coffeaholic would be inaccurate because I only really love Dunkin Donuts coffee.

Oh I’ve tried other stuff…there’s community coffee where I work. Usually it’s your standard grocery store brands though sometimes it’s something wild like blueberry flavored weirdness or a pound of grounds blazoned in advertisements claiming that it’s 100% indigenous to some region unfamiliar to me and therefore superior in some way. It doesn’t matter what it is really because if it’s not D&D it’s all schwag. I drink it and panic – the jitters set in the world is ending and suddenly I can’t cope with simplest of life’s circumstances. Caffeine sensitivity? Not likely…because D&D doesn’t do that.

Beyond that I feel loved there, it’s like they know me. Try walking into your hometown coffee shop – Unless you speak ‘Fratalian’ are big on emo tunes and carrying a ‘journal’ (see my last blog for more on that) you’re not welcome. I had a friend suggest that I go to Mikey D’s for coffee because it’s .99 for any size cup. How crazy is that? The Super-sized empire selling their stash for less than a buck at any size because even they know…

I tried MD’s. They asked me how many creams and sugars I wanted in it like I’m supposed to know that information. I walk into my local D&D tell ‘em ‘Cream and Sugar’ and it’s perfect every time. Beyond that, they hand me a cup…just a cup…with a brilliantly engineered self-containing spill-proof heat-containing lid. No fancy cardboard heat shield with a crummy plastic lid that I have to peel back or worry if it’s sitting in my car’s cupholder that a small bump will send scolding hot liquid all over me and my car’s what-nots.

Oh, and their corporate slogan – “America runs on Dunkin” …how did they know I was a marathon runner? They’re THAT good, that’s how.

About the only problem I have is that you HAVE, I repeat, HAVE to get it from them. You can buy a pound of their stuff and try to brew it yourself, it’s not the same, don’t even try it. I can’t tell you how many $’s I’ve spent trying to perfect the brewing methodologies to make it taste like they do. I’ve concluded it’s impossible. I’m not sure what they do to make it taste like that but I believe if anyone ever figured it out the process would become illegal.

So thank you Dunkin Donuts, I hope this economic recession does not affect you. I truly believe that if you were to stop waking up when it’s “Time to make the coffee” the backlash would be worse than if the government bailed out banks (the financial institutions, not me) only to have them take the money and pay bonuses to the executives that started the problem in the first place. (Thank goodness that never happened)

And they didn’t even pay me for this…
Banks

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Posted in Humor, Life, Running

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Judge Ito! Have Some of My Burrito!

March 23rd, 2009 by Just Call Me Lungs 2 comments »

Jury duty.  It’s something most Americans dread yet something we all at some point have to deal with.  It’s the quintessential waste of time in most people’s minds.  You sit in a room with 100 other people for 8 straight hours.  If you’re lucky, your scenery changes when they select you for a panel, where you move to an actual courtroom and stare at a judge for hours on end.  Then, if you’re REALLY lucky, you get placed in the jury box.  Dun dun dun!!!  You’re luck just ran out…you’re on a case which is set to take a week.  That’s multiple days of sitting in a courtroom staring on as the case unfolds before you, all because this guy rear-ended this other guy and the second guy is suing the first guy for damaging his rear.

So a few weeks ago I had my first jury-duty experience.  This was, of course, after I accidentally skipped my original date and got a threatening letter from the courthouse.  Oops…apparently they take this jury duty thing seriously.  So I get to the court house early, waiting outside with some other potential jurors.  Nobody says anything…why is it even though we’re there for the same reason we still stand in silence, afraid to speak to one another.  We’re finally let in, and given this spiel about no bringing weapons into the courthouse…like, seriously, let me go put my boa knife and hand grenade back in the car.  So after going through the metal detectors and getting checked in, we get to watch this fascinating video on the jury process, and why it sets us apart from the rest of the world (besides our obesity, over indulgent attitudes, and our rockin military).  And then we wait.

I had the pleasure of getting placed on a panel.  The judge gives us a lengthy talk about how it’s an honor to be picked, how we’re not jurors but judges, and so on.  And then the process begins.  8 people picked…but who will survive?  Find out next week… Question after question for each person…and then one gets excused, another picked.  And the same questions for them…and they get dismissed…and another…and another.  The same questions over and over for 2.5 hours…apparently the lawyers don’t want to start this case or really have a jury.  

And then I get picked…I sit in the box…I answer their questions…they can’t stump me.  Name?  I know that.  Occupation?  You bet I have one.  Tell us about yourself.  Well, umm…well, what do I say?  I don’t want them to judge me…do I tell them just the basics…I love to run, read, watch movies…or do I tell them more…my favorite romantic comedy is the Notebook and I cry everytime I watch it…I sometimes eat a whole jar of pickles after a long run…I don’t find Steve Carell funny…  I stuck to the basics.  And then, stating that I’d been in a car accident 2 years go, I got side-barred and then DISMISSED.  That was just hurtful.  How dare they dismiss me???  That jury is nothing without me!  And then I realize that I’m free to go, so I do just that…

An interesting experience, but thankfully I’ve been rewarded with at least a 3 year jury duty free vacation.  So if you get jury duty, just remember the easy way out…you think everyone is guilty, and you hate anyone who isn’t you, and the death penalty is the easy way out.

2 comments »

Posted in Law, Life, Living in NJ

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If you’ve never stared off into the distance…

March 18th, 2009 by EndorphinsJunkie 7 comments »

…. then your life is a shame.  No one says it better than the Counting Crows.  Life is all about enjoying the small pleasantries, staring off into the distance and enjoying everything around you.  This is part of why I enjoy running so much, particularly training for and running Marathons.  Now, for those of you who run on treadmills only, you are truly missing out.  I can’t run on a treadmill… I need the feel of the wind, the smell of fresh cut grass, the sun beating down on me, and something in the distance that I can stare off into…. looking at a clock that is rolling the time second by second and a T.V playing “Flavor of Love” while on a treadmill in between a girl who has a face full of makeup and the most stylish workout clothes on, and Vinny the guido from Staten Island at Gold’s Gym, is not going to cut it. 

Every run I have done, even the ones I hate, have led me to some great scenes that I wouldn’t give up for the world.  There is nothing better than running along the boardwalk at the Jersey Shore and looking out at the beach and ocean, or running through Phoenix and Tempe Arizona while seeing mountains in the distance as you run down the highway, or the Washington Monument and Pentagon as you run through Washington D.C.   During the three marathons I have run, these are the sites I had the pleasure of seeing, as I stared off into the distance with 100 different things going through my mind. … Look at how amazing this is… I am doing really well, check out that pace… My leg is starting to hurt… What do I want to eat when I finish… I wonder what my dog is doing right now…. Where are the people cheering me on… a debate in my head over what my favorite Michael Jackson song is…. Despite all of this tangential thinking though, everything just seems so very clear.

On top of the amazing vistas I have seen running my marathons, I have seen amazing things in New Jersey that I would not have even known existed without my training runs.  My favorite runs have been over the George Washington Bridge looking out onto the water and the view of the city, Columbia Trails in High Bridge where you run along a trail with a river flowing beneath and beautiful signs of nature all around, and the Towpath in Piscatway between the canal and Raritan River. 

For those of you who have not taken to the streets for your daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly work out, you are truly missing out on the most beautiful sights you will lay your eyes on.  I tend to think that things are more beautiful, mainly because I am able to pay more attention to them, when I am running.  Its so easy to get lost in a sunset, the view of the beach, or the sound of the river below.  Now I am not telling everyone that they need to go out and run a marathon (although it wouldn’t be a bad idea), but I am suggesting that you live life, get outside and enjoy the scenery.

7 comments »

Posted in Living in NJ, Running

I’ll slap you with my Chris Brown hand!

March 10th, 2009 by Just Call Me Lungs 2 comments »

So I’m at work the other day, talking to one of my coworkers.  We’re just shootin the breeze, talkin about this and that.  We then get to talking about my girlfriend.  The conversation went like this…

“So, you still open doors for her?”

“Yeah, still at that stage.”

“She should be opening doors for you.”

“I know, right!”

“You just gotta train her.”

“Yeah, I’ll slap her with my Chris Brown hand.”

Silence.

“What, too soon?”

Regardless of how the conversation continued after that (they finally laughed and gave me a pound, acknowledging the dark but timely joke), the question lingered in my mind.  How soon is too soon?  When does it become alright to joke about a horrible situation?  Don’t get me wrong…what happened with Chris Brown and Rihanna is awful (and seriously, someone talk to the girl about not getting back with him), and I think the man should be in jail.  But I have, and always have had, a dark and “don’t-and-shouldn’t-go-there” sense of humor. 

Unless the person the tragedy happened to is standing right in front of you, and they don’t have a sense of humor, in my mind there is no “too soon”.  I can’t help it.  My mind just works that way…I make a joke out of everything.  I make jokes at other people’s good fortune, misfortune, lack of fortune, and everything in between.  I make jokes at funerals.  I found videos of the tsunami humorous.  Steve Irwin…need I say more? And who doesn’t like to watch people getting hurt on YouTube.  Kick to the crotch?  Awesome!  Fall from a roof…even better!  Getting attacked by a bear?  Over the top!

I just think life is WAY too short to take things too seriously.  Sure, some of the things I joke at are tragic situations.  But tragedy happens every day, all around us.  You can’t spend your entire life dwelling on the darkness out there in the world.  All you can do is try to find humor in it all, focus on the positive, and keep your head up.  Someone once said “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”  I couldn’t agree more.  So do your best to find humor in every situation…it will make life much more enjoyable.

(This posting was inspired by one of my favorite YouTubers, CommunityChannel, and the below video…but the above conversation did happen.  This video just let me know it was ok to talk about it!)

2 comments »

Posted in Current Events, Humor, Life

Running on empty…

March 2nd, 2009 by EndorphinsJunkie 1 comment »

I am one of those people who needs to get out there and run at least 3 times a week to feel good…. to feel like I have energy and am not running on empty the rest of the week.  Due to some weekend plans and todays weather, running has not been in the cards for me since Thursday evening.  I feel like I have all of this energy I need to release, but I feel so low on energy too… lethargic… lazy… blah.

I keep telling myself… Well I did run 10 miles last week before the slump… which is pretty good…. I have been running non-stop for the past 2 years and every once in a while, I deserve a week off to recover, right?  It takes a lot for me to justify not getting out there to get my run in… even when the justifications make sense.  I just feel like something is missing. 

Now… I am just praying for Spring…

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Posted in Life, Running